I love Christmas and I love Christmas movies. Much to my family’s dismay, my favorite ones are old classics…White Christmas, A Christmas Carol from 1938, with Reginald Owen (and only that one), Miracle On 34th Street, and It’s A Wonderful Life. For me, there are no other movies that compare to them. I have been thinking about It’s A Wonderful Life and, the end of the movie, where Harry Bailey makes a toast to his big brother George Bailey…who has just been through the ringer wishing he had never been born…if you haven’t seen, it you need to. Harry’s toast is, “To my big brother, George, the richest man in town.”
That got me thinking about wealth and how we measure our riches or wealth. We can do it financially, but that’s pretty limiting and maybe not that great for many of us right now, inflation and all. But what really makes us wealthy? What are the things we treasure? That we consider our riches? George Bailey was distraught over some lost money and came to the conclusion that everyone would have been better off if he had never been born. He gets the opportunity, with the help of his Guardian Angel, to see what the world would have been like without him in it. He sees the interplay of his life with others and how much would have been lost without him in the world. So he prays to be alive again and presto! he is back…I love this movie. George had a narrow perspective of his life that centered around his business and financial struggles. That tunnel vision led him to despair and thoughts of taking his own life. Aren’t we all like that at times? The demands of our lives, jobs, families, narrowing our vision to just our struggles to get by. We lose the joy of just living because of the pressures and demands we put upon ourselves.
We have no idea how our lives intertwine and are interwoven with the world around us. If George Bailey hadn’t been born, then Harry would have drowned in a sledding accident as a child…not really sledding, they were riding shovels…did any parent really think that was a good idea? And if Harry had died, an entire ship full of sailors would have died in WWII because Harry wouldn’t have been there to shoot an enemy plane down…you get the idea. Although that’s all just a movie, the same connections exist for us…maybe not as dramatically, but they exist. People would not have met or been in relationships, children would not have been born, schools wouldn’t have been attended, degrees not earned, businesses not started, connections not made, problems not solved, people not touched. We have no idea the impact our one little life has on the people around us and the world…but we should not underestimate it. Life is full of connections and those connections intertwine with more connections and so on. Our lives are a mangrove of connections and influences.
When my grandson, Javon, was 9, a friend asked his mom whether he still believed in Santa Claus. My daughter explained to her that someone had told him Santa wasn’t real and he had stopped believing until he talked to me and I convinced him that Santa was real. I don’t recall this conversation at all, but it really struck me then and it still does. I spent a lot of time thinking about this and still feel like this might have been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. Not because of Santa himself, although who can resist his rosy cheeks, warm smile, knowing eyes, and infectious laugh. It’s not the man; it’s all he stands for…the mindset if you will….of goodness, kindness, generosity, and compassion. It’s deeply listening, really seeing, knowing, and paying attention to the people close to us. It’s the kindness to reach out to those in need because we all need help. It’s building community wherever we are because we are all so much more alike than different. It’s not judging because we really don’t know. It’s choosing kindness and compassion in all of life’s circumstances because we can. If in any way I helped to instill or nourish that mindset in my grandson, then I know I have done at least one really good thing.
To me, Christmas is a magical time. People are kinder, more giving, more forgiving, more open to humanity, our own and others. We look for and count our blessings. We celebrate the people we love and strengthen our connections to them. We celebrate love and kindness in the movies we watch and the Santa we love to believe in…I still believe. I believe in the strength and kindness of the human spirit. In our ability to love and care and give. I believe that all that really matters is how we love people. I believe in the interconnection we all share and how each of our lives are touched by everyone else’s…if one link was missing, everything would change…we each have that much influence…we matter that much.
Let me be real…I believe that I am the richest person I know. I have a life filled with people I love deeply and who love me. I am overflowing with love…and out of that abundance I have so much to give. So here’s to Christmas and the holiday spirit and to the hope that we can keep it alive in us all year long. Take time as this year ends, to be grateful for all the riches in your life…and take a moment to say “thank you” for the abundance that is yours, in all its many forms. And here’s to a new year filled with goodness, kindness, generosity, compassion, and love. What the world needs now is love…definitely.
One more thought on being real….
The holidays are a difficult time for so many people. I think lacks or losses we face, we feel more fully during the holidays. Maybe because of all the images we are exposed to of happy, healthy, intact, “ideal” families. We may feel like we are not one of the most fortunate…or not fortunate at all. We may be sad, depressed, feeling hopeless, while we think everyone around us is happy, loved, and content. But outward appearances don’t mean anything because we are all masters of hiding the truth…our truth.
I am not oblivious to all the losses occurring in our world. Last week, tWitch, the DJ from The Ellen Degeneres Show, committed suicide. I was heartbroken to hear the news. I felt like I knew him from seeing him each afternoon and watching him dance and make jokes with Ellen. He seemed very full of life and love. I am beyond sad that anyone feels like they have no reason to live…and there seem to be so many. I don’t pretend to know the thoughts or feelings of someone in this mental and emotional pain, and I am not judging the conclusions anyone comes to about their own lives. I hope tWitch found the peace he was looking for and I hope that everyone who loved him is cared for and comforted in ways that are most meaningful and healing to them. And I hope we can all find the peace that we long for.
If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255). There are qualified people available to help you or your loved ones. Please reach out and ask, there is help.
Kai Raines 