Was It Compassion? After my blog last week I was talking with a friend, and she pointed out to me that George HW Bush might have only had compassion when he wanted and with whom he wanted, like his family, his party, perhaps his country….that he may have wanted a “kinder and gentler” America but that was not the experience of him for many people. I understand what she was saying…we did get into a war while he was President, and I am certain there are a hundred things I did not agree with or may have even seen as self-serving, totally lacking compassion.
I have been thinking about this conversation for several days now…and I wonder, aren’t we all like this? Isn’t it easiest to show compassion to those we love and care for already? Isn’t it easy to show compassion when it benefits us in some way? Isn’t that the starting point for each of us? It’s from that place that we grow, (hopefully), if we’re willing, right? Grow to a place where we can show compassion without contemplating our own benefit? We love someone because they love us, or we love someone and they better return our love…we return kindness for kindness…practice a kind of tit for tat compassion…I’ll do it if you do it, and only if you do it.
Don’t we all start out doing what benefits us and grow to a place where we do something because it’s the kind thing to do or we show compassion for compassion’s sake alone? In the Buddhist loving-kindness practice the starting point is feeling compassion for ourselves, (not always easy), and then moving to those we love because that is the easiest place to stir feelings of compassion and loving-kindness. It isn’t hard to feel compassion for someone we love. Those are the people we never want to see suffer. Next we move to those we have no real feeling for one way or the other, and then to those we have a difficult relationship with or consider an enemy. Finally we generate compassion for all beings in the world. That is quite the growth curve. Maybe George HW Bush was at the beginning of his journey to develop compassion…maybe he never moved beyond his family and those close to him. Does that mean his acts were not compassionate? Maybe they were expressing baby compassion?
It’s easy to give and feel compassion for those we love. I adore my wife and can give her compassion all day long without too much effort…I think that probably gets a hearty “Amen!” from my readers…But what about people who look different, (as judged by us), speak a different language, are disabled, have a different belief system, come from a place we feel nervous about, people we feel we do not understand…that is a very different picture. It takes practice, growth, practice, effort, and practice to build compassion and loving-kindness. This shit ain’t easy. Maybe the former President still had room to grow…like I do…maybe he gets credit for his baby steps of compassion…maybe.
Kai Raines 